Here’s a confession: part of me wishes I was God and God wasn’t. It’s true. I feel kind of weird putting that thought to paper but the more I think about it I come to this conclusion- life would be easier if I was able to be God. Of course, this thinking comes from my own brokenness and human struggle as a sinner but at the end of the day that is where I am. You see- if I was able to be God then I could have things the way I wanted- and more importantly would not be subject to the way that God seems to be always pushing and pulling me out of my comfort zone. This thought process of mine- flawed as it is- reminds me of a time when my son was about 3. He was very upset with me because I was making him have a time out for something he did or asking him to go to bed a decent time. He responded by saying , “I can’t wait to be a dad, I will be the best dad ever and never make my kids go to bed or have timeouts.” To him it was that simple. But as a father who has been through many of life’s ups and downs I know now that parenting is not as simple as never having bedtime or enforcing expectations and rules.
My guess is it’s the same for my fleeting desire to be God for a day. The movie Bruce Almighty shows a little of that in a humorous way but the reality is probably much too complex for us to really grasp. My devotion for today focused on Isaiah 48:12-21 where the Lord declares, “I am the LORD your God who teaches you for your own good, who leads you in the way you should go.” The promise of God in that small verse reminds me that I have no business being God. Sure, the days will come when I feel that way…and I bet you do too. But ultimately I give thanks everyday that God is God and has promised to teach me for my own good and lead me in ways I need to follow. The human in me often resists this and sometimes the calling is a bit overwhelming- but ultimately I say thanks be to God.
Another Confession- thanks be to God that God is God and I am Not.